Overview
Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910),known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.
He was lauded as the "greatest humorist the United States has produced,"and William Faulkner called him "the father of American literature".
Mark Twain Quotes
1. “A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.” –Mark Twain
2. “A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.” –Mark Twain
3. “A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.” –Mark Twain
4. “A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.” –Mark Twain
5. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” –Mark Twain
6. “All generalizations are false, including this one.” –Mark Twain
7. “All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.” –Mark Twain
8. “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” –Mark Twain
9. “Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” –Mark Twain
10. “By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.” –Mark Twain
11. “Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.” –Mark Twain
12. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” –Mark Twain
13. “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” –Mark Twain
14. “Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” –Mark Twain
15. “Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” –Mark Twain
16. “Don't let schooling interfere with your education.” –Mark Twain
17. “Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.” –Mark Twain
18. “Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.” –Mark Twain
19. “Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.” –Mark Twain
20. “Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.” –Mark Twain
21. “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” –Mark Twain
22. “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” –Mark Twain
23. “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” –Mark Twain
24. “God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.” –Mark Twain
25. “Golf is a good walk spoiled.” –Mark Twain
26. “Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.” –Mark Twain
27. “Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” –Mark Twain
28. “Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.” –Mark Twain
29. “Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.” –Mark Twain
30. “Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.” –Mark Twain
31. “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” –Mark Twain
32. “I can live for two months on a good compliment.” –Mark Twain
33. “I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” –Mark Twain
34. “I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.” –Mark Twain
35. “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” –Mark Twain
36. “I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.” –Mark Twain
37. “I never let schooling interfere with my education.” –Mark Twain
38. “I've never let my school interfere with my education.” –Mark Twain
39. “If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.” –Mark Twain
40. “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” –Mark Twain
41. “In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.” –Mark Twain
42. “It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.” –Mark Twain
43. “It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.” –Mark Twain
44. “It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.” –Mark Twain
45. “It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” –Mark Twain
46. “It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.” –Mark Twain
47. “It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.” –Mark Twain
48. “Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.” –Mark Twain
49. “Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.” –Mark Twain
50. “Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.” –Mark Twain
51. “Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.” –Mark Twain
52. “Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.” –Mark Twain
53. “Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.” –Mark Twain
54. “My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.” –Mark Twain
55. “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” –Mark Twain
56. “Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.” –Mark Twain
57. “Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” –Mark Twain
58. “Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.” –Mark Twain
59. “Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.” –Mark Twain
60. “Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.” –Mark Twain
61. “Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.” –Mark Twain
62. “Prosperity is the best protector of principle.” –Mark Twain
63. “Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.” –Mark Twain
64. “Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.” –Mark Twain
65. “Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” –Mark Twain
66. “Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.” –Mark Twain
67. “The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.” –Mark Twain
68. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” –Mark Twain
69. “The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” –Mark Twain
70. “The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.” –Mark Twain
71. “The lack of money is the root of all evil.” –Mark Twain
72. “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.” –Mark Twain
73. “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.” –Mark Twain
74. “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” –Mark Twain
75. “The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” –Mark Twain
76. “The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow there is no humor in Heaven.” –Mark Twain
77. “The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.” –Mark Twain
78. “There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.” –Mark Twain
79. “There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.” –Mark Twain
80. “Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work.” –Mark Twain
81. “To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.” –Mark Twain
82. “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.” –Mark Twain
83. “Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.” –Mark Twain
84. “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.” –Mark Twain
85. “Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.” –Mark Twain
86. “We have the best government that money can buy.” –Mark Twain
87. “What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.” –Mark Twain
88. “What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.” –Mark Twain
89. “When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.” –Mark Twain
90. “When in doubt tell the truth.” –Mark Twain
91. “When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.” –Mark Twain
92. “When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” –Mark Twain
93. “When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.” –Mark Twain
94. “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” –Mark Twain
95. “Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.” –Mark Twain
96. “Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.” –Mark Twain
97. “Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.” –Mark Twain
98. “Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.” –Mark Twain
99. “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” –Mark Twain
100. “You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” –Mark Twain